Bottlestops, Cops

A little folky don't ya think? I liked everything about her except didn't ya think she was a little folky? Let's move on to the next candidate, what do you say? You want to take a little break, huh? Oh you quit? But you're our diversity officer you can't just pick up and leave. No, see you can't do that unless you don't want to be eligible--what's a polka-dot-collared job?

On the street things were decidedly less surreal even though I'm prone to dramatize colors when I'm alone. Now I don't have a job, WWDD? Actually my surname has many more Confederate city streets named after it than yours. My stupid little red shoes gripped the ground and I pulled up and up on my chin to avoid sobbing. Goddamn white laces, ya'll get dirty so fast...find me. I need someone else to give me a chance. Where's the adjusted line of professional behavior for people like me?

I need a thumbnail picture and a byline and a ticket for a bus to a train to a ship to an island to a hut to a bed to a hole to a handle to some sweet deadly darkness. I kneeled and raised my hand and got a taxi who took me to Church...to Canal past Tillary to Flatbush saw Jacob by Robert from Robert also Robert heard something to Beach Channel to Rockaway Beach a few blocks...135. I got out and scaled a 7 inch concrete wall (how symbolic) to a set of eroded stairs - saw the dunes saw the sand saw the sky saw the beach touched the sand with my shoes - which are stupid. Removed them, discarded them, threw them away they washed away like anger like disappointment and the sun moved behind some thunderclouds and the afternoon got purple and the rust on the bridge turned yellow and the green turned dark blue then grey then asked for shelter but the man had plans to go. An escape plan some broken bottles a needle a trip a fall a high a crash some reading all wet all emotional all impossible all too much to handle to much to stomach digest process daily weekly after a day a week a year a decade veins and colors and dye and needle the needle his needle his hands his fingers guarded protected explained taught held. Hold on.

What happened with her Harvey? Can you hear me Harvey? How could she say all of that? I take offense to how she said Adios Muchachos without at least stopping to think that there was a woman in the room.

God winced. We all winced we couldn't believe it. Fucking life...I want to see it. I would give mine to give the world more of his. A chariot and a street and a dynamite listen to this wind all the sand on this beach she thought! Roll me over let me swim she thought. A knock and a nudge and some neck muscles and a sinking feeling give me more. She dug up a mental motorcycle and rode it off into the still-orange grimey sunset as the lightning refracted on the ocean right in front of her. Chances like this come and go the train noises hide it the jet engines hide it and the storm hides it and at each one of those it's great to scream and get all the fucking shit out.

Rarely are all three of them audible at the same time but the jet had to land because it was below decision altitude outside of the storm and the A out there with the purple summer storm crossing the bay. As the wind and the bay with the rain and the wind and the plane with the lightning and the lighting, which was purple and the bridge that was dark green between the grey that was the cockpit she saw the pilot and the conductor and the mother and her dad and she turned her neck like the last time she did before everything sank. The whirling and swirling and vibrating pulsating wishing crashing sliding surfing flying falling tripping. All this nasty yellow fluid came out herb leaves jungle leaves Amazon keys golden and Socialist but better but barely leave it there and walk back to the street. She left it there and went back to Beach 135th St.

She walked to a payphone and placed two quarters in the machine and dialed the operator. That was wrong they told her. For operator calls press 411 then oprima numero uno not to speak in Español so she pressed 24 because it was funny and sentimental and not uno. Queens, NY. That is not listed in our directory, please call back with a valid city and state please. She called back and pressed 24 and then said she wasn't exactly sure what town she was in but please don't hang up they asked what was the last town you were in she said New York, NY. They gave her a Holland Tunnel-based taxi company. She asked to be picked up they declined. She dialed 411 then oprimió'd 24 then said Brooklyn, NY and she got a very local taxi company even though Brooklyn isn't really a city. They picked her up it was dark she had no shoes or money and forgot her phone where she used to work and now she was wet from the storm she lost her voice basically. She liked the bridge and saw the city and the lights and thought she saw JFK. Got to a busy intersection she had to pee her cigarettes were ruined didn't have a light anyway the driver wasn't very aggressive she paid and got out far from Tillary far from the bridge - Flatbush. Hailed a cab he said not going to city she said neither was she. Let her in she said, Port Authority Bus Terminal, he said get out she kissed him, he took her by the chin and threw her against the little glass opening she hurt her neck her stomach sank her heart sank the fucking shit had come back.

The lights of downtown Brooklyn in the distance reminded her of Manhattan in the distant distance and the lights and all the fucking shit. Got another cab didn't have any money he didn't care took her over the Manhattan Bridge let her off when two little kids needed a cab they had money higher priority missed connection? Said thanks said thanks so much said one day, had faith believed it thought it ok didn't think about it. Walked from E. Broadway and Canal to 41st and 8th Avenue begged for a bus wasn't that era. Can't beg for a bus the busses left from garages roped off no hitchhiking no valuable trade no pawn shops needed money knew what to do went to 42nd saw some guy needed a lift gave him the needle fell crash cash - beautiful cash "get me out of this place!" Next bus out of PA is in 6 hours attendant said gleefully. 4AM to Philadelphia first one on last one off got to sit in the back.

In Philly she had slept on the bus lots of stops then packed gross and constricted and stuck and sweaty and wet and tarred pockets and bare feet funny looks concerned looks two faces especially. In a crowd far from home kneeled raised hands no cab this time. Stood up not a power ranger not a superhero nothing...deflation but closer to the resolution to the reconciliation to a comedy to disbelief to bed.